All shinning and new

Before photography I used my computer for basic things and had no real need or desire to spend the money on a new one; I believed that I could make due with what I had, it was sufficient.  That was until the frustration over what my computer could not do for me, made me stop the one thing I love to do.

Early in my life, I learned that I can make due with anything, I don't need things to make me happy; what I didn't realize or even consider, is that it's not about making due its about making things a bit easier for me and enjoying them more...what a concept making things easier for myself.

I contemplated a new computer for a few months, compared prices, determined what I needed in a computer, talked with people and asked lots of questions; in my heart I knew I wanted a new computer but something was holding me back from treating myself to a new one, something besides the money.

I'm sure I'm not alone in the feeling of putting myself first feels awkward, selfish and uncomfortable but I also knew that if I don't do it, no one will, that is after all what the year all about me is about.

So I put aside the young woman that put others first and bought myself a new computer.  Not just a new computer I moved from a PC to a MAC; I must be a gluten for punishment.  No only do I need to move all my programs, documents, etc to my new MAC I have to learn how it differs from a PC.  Well I guess I'll get that grey matter working one way   

I guess changing from a PC to a MAC is a metaphor for all the changes that are and will be happening in my life this year, so it only made sense to make the switch; wish me luck!

I am sitting at my shinny new computer tonight typing this blog post and even though I spend the weekend trying to figure out how this things works...I LOVE IT and I love that I bought it for myself! I will say that it is one of the most satisfying feelings to treat yourself to something that you truly want and know you will enjoy and I feel so pleased with myself that I DID IT.

Me and my new computer thank you for stopping by.

Ready to begin my 2012 bucket list

A ladies meet-up group I belong to is having a brainstorming meeting next month to come up with trip ides; regardless if they are for the day, the weekend or week long trips.  We are all supposed to bring ideas to the table no matter how outrageous or crazy they might be.

One of the ladies in the group is going on an African Safari this summer and on one hand that sounds so amazing for her but on the other hand incredibly intimidating to me. 

After hearing the excitement in her voice about this upcoming trip it got me thinking, if I wanted to take a trip where would I want to go?  For some people I know their list of ideas would run off the page and would be filled with so many ideas their head may explode.  Me, my head is exploding because I have to think of an idea. 

How do you learn to dream when you haven't dreamt in...well forever?  How do you come up with ideas, when you have no idea what you want? Well, the only way I can think of doing this, is to list a few characteristics about myself and see where it take me. Here is where you, my friends, can chime in anytime you feel like it, whether its to tell me you don't see me in the way I see myself or share your trip ideas with me...I'm open!

Here Goes:

• I am a practical person at my core and I am trying to live a little outside my comfort zone
• It doesn't take much to entertain me, I enjoy the simple beauty of the world and people
• I'm frugal in most aspects of my life but have been know to splurge on occasions
• I'm most comfortable in smaller groups although I can manage larger groups
• The sound of water is amazing to me
• I hate, well dislike allot the heat
• Fall is my favorite time of year.  The clean, cool, crisp air and the fall colors are are amazing

For this year at least, I would like to focus on day or weekend trips because a wedding is in the future and money is being saved and the other reason, this would allow for more frequent shorter trips instead of one large trip.  Creating the habit of travel is going to take practice and I need all the practice I can get.

I've never done or even considered a bucket list before so I guess for this year anyway I will have to start one.  What do you think should be on my 2012 bucket list?

 As always, thanks for stopping by! 

A run and a nap

I was still feeling so wonderful from yesterday's girls day, that this morning I took a run.  Getting fitness back into my life is going to be crucial to making me stronger not only physically but also mentally - so off for a run I went.

As I was running, I was enjoying this bright and beautiful day, listening to some music, running at a slow but steady pace and enjoying all the beauty that was around my neighborhood; thinking I would go back out later and take a few pictures and join my fellow photographer Michelle McDaid in her photography project...around the block.

After my run I decided to do a bit of yard work, had some lunch and then couldn't keep my eyes open, so I took a nap; I guess that was fitness will do to you when your not used to it.  Oh well, next time.

This day was so representative of my life right now, so many things about it is so right, while others are still in progress.  Taking the time to do what I want (running & yard work) while others are those that I still wish for (pictures) but not quite ready for. 

Don't misunderstand by any means, this weekend was probably one of the most enjoyable I have had in a while but I am the type of person that must understand and learn from what I do and what I am unable to do.  Its how I will grow and make this year all about me.

As always thanks for stopping by

The unltimate girls day

An AMAZING day spent with my future daughter-in-law, her bridesmaids and the mother of the bride touring Arden Hills Resort, churches and a bit of bridesmaids dress shopping...the ultimate girls day!

Watching her face light up when her girlfriends and Mother reacted to the venue the way she had hoped, was such a joy.  I know the two of them love this place and wanted us to love it as much as they do; and we did.

As joyous as this occasions is, I cant not think about a very important person that wont be with us in this celebration, my Mother. I think back to my own wedding planning and I was so independent and was adamant that I did not need any help, that I did not include her as much as I wish I would have.  At the time I never considered that it wasn't about me not being capable, it was about including her in the process. I see that now, I get it!

I've long been a "loner" in the sense that I don't depend on others; I guess because I don't want to feel the disappointment.  But this is such a huge contradiction for me, I always see the good in people and if that is true, why would I feel like they are going to disappointment me?  

Letting people in, has always been and continues to be a struggle for me.  I want to let them in but I protect myself so much that I find it so difficult to let the true me out...oh this is getting so tiring I must learn to let the true me out.

Well the true me with arise this year as I discover exactly what that is.  What I do know, is that I must find a balance between enjoying others happiness along side them as well as experiencing it for myself.

Watch out life...her I come.

As always thanks for stopping by!

Young Love

To watch young love blossom, I feel is one of the most joyous things.  It brings us all back to when we first fell in love, it reminds us of the potential of our lives, the wonder in which we looked at the world and reminds us of a time when dreaming was as normal as breathing. 

I have had the pleasure of watching young love grow in front of my eyes over the past few years, watch it grow into what it is today; preparing for their lives together {engaged}.

I have always taken such pleasure in watching others experience pure joy and happiness; this brings me pure joy and happiness. 

I was able to share one of those moments this week and I have been grinning ear to ear ever since.  Hearing loving words spoken, words that truly show they understand, appreciate and except your loved one with their whole heart, gave me such a feeling of happiness and contentment; no more worries they will be just fine!

For me, I am experiencing my own young love; a love that is very new and unfamiliar.  One that is only about one month old now and I'm not quite sure where it will end up...A Young Love with ME.

Putting other first is so natural and effortless that learning to put me first is to say the least a challenge, but I am focused and determined to learn this new skill. By experiencing the young love of others is helping me to learn to love myself.  Surround myself with people that experience life in the way I want too and only great thing will come of it...I'm on my way!!

As always, thanks for stopping by